I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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