people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
