he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
