zippers are such a cool invention
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
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