The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
