The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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