i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
