When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
