I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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