i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
