He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
