I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
