I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
