the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
