After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I need to calm my uterus...
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
