I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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