i need an iv and a liver transplant
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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