Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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