It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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