yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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