my vag is so smooth its legendary
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
