sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
