then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
you will always have a special place in my vag
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I have already put on my inside pants.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
