Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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