dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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