The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Are we still banned from the library?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
