Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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