your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
3pm strippers are depressing
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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