My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
