I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
