my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize