...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
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And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
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I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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