Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
