trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
