there's paper in my vomit.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
should my penis look like a turkey
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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