id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I want to fling myself into the sun
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
