Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
meet me or not, i'm out of control
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
