i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
