We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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