I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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