you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
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working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
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told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
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