apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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