I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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