Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize