now i know why i became what i already was.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
