the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
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I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
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its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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