her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
