Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
