I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
