Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
