Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
