K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He is an equal opportunity slut.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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