Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
