drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
