we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bar mat shot.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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